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Advanced Speaker 25 – Spanish Swear Words Medium Strength (18+)

pollo scaleSpanish Swear Words.

For those of our followers who have already watched or listened to our previous podcast on Spanish swear words, then you will know that the Spanish are very good at cursing. In fact, swearing is as much a part of their life as is tortilla española or la paella.

It’s important to add the disclaimer that the Spanish swear words we cover in this podcast only apply to Spain and are NOT something we recommend you to use carelessly. In other Spanish speaking countries they could be considered very offensive.

A tomar por culo.

Let’s focus on this particular expression in the blog. The reason for this is that it’s probably one of the most common and interesting Spanish insults.

In English we have something similar in our expression, “Shove it up your arse.”

The Spanish are very frequently telling people to “¡Vete a tomar por culo!” which, literally is “Go and take it up the bum.”

The thing is, just like the English expression, “Bugger off.” the original meaning is no longer appropriate nor current and so, “Vete a tomar por culo.” really means, “P…s off, F…k off”, or “Bugger off”.

What happened in 2005.

The fact is that in Spain, the word “culo” and the phrase “por el culo” appear everywhere. I recall that in the lead up to the 2005 “noche vieja” (New Year’s Eve) everyone was talking about the suggestion made by a famous TV celebrity. He had suggested that everyone in the country should wish each other a Happy New Year in this fashion:

Feliz año 2005, por el culo te la hinco.

And, effectively, that’s what everyone did.

Being a curious person, I had to ask about the expression as I was unfamiliar with the verb HINCAR, which I was informed meant to plunge, stab or thrust.

Then, continuing with my line of questioning, I asked what, to me, was the more intriguing question:

“And what does the ‘LA’ signify?”

There then followed a moment of extreme embarrassment in which everyone in my Spanish family went red in the face.  Finally, after a long pause, Cynthia said to me: “Bueno, ¿qué crees que será, Gordon?”

It was then that I realised that the ‘LA’ referred to that infamous word that so many students get mixed up with ‘pollo’ and that is, “polla”, which means ‘cock’ or ‘dick’.

It was then that I really understood the relaxed and groovy attitude that Spanish people have toward Spanish swear words and profanities.

I don’t need to translate the sentence for you, for I’m sure you can work out what virtually the entire Spanish nation was saying to one another as a New Year greeting. je je

Enjoy the podcast. And don’t take it personally. We really did it for a bit of fun and and education. After all, if you are going to Spain, you are going to hear these words, like it or not!

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Advanced Speaker 26 – Spanish Swear Words Very Strong (18+++)

motherVery strong Spanish swear words

This is the third in the series of Spanish swear words and general profanities.  Please ensure that before you watch this video that you are 18 years of age or more. It contains strong language.

The poor mums.

In Mexico, when something is really good  it is described as being ‘PADRE’  (father) and when something is bad, it is ‘UNA MADRE’. (a mother)

If someone is not a particularly good person, then you would be well within your rights to say: “Qué poca madre.” which probably translates along the lines of: “What a shit.”

When I asked why mums should have such ‘mala fama’ in Mexico, I was told that it stemmed back to the conquest of Mexico.

Cortés and Doña Marina

Hemán Cortés, the man who orchestrated the conquest of the Aztec people became involved with a Mexican woman called Doña Marina. As well as having children with her, Cortés used her in his overthrow of Mexico and since then she has become known as La Malinche, the woman who is seen as the treacherous mother of Mexico.

Since then, mothers have had a bad rap in Mexico. (You make one mistake..!)

Whatever the case,  it seems the case that throughout the Spanish speaking world, if you really want to insult someone then you bring into question the good standing of their mother.

In Spain, to express exasperation or to say something like: “What a guy!” in surprised way, they often say:

“LA MADRE QUE TE PARIÓ.”

Which, translated directly is, “The mother that gave birth to you.”

By saying this you are questioning what on earth the mother of that person was thinking of bringing them into the world.

Stronger than that, however, is the reference to someone’s mum as a prostitute.

This is also one of the very common Spanish swear words.

The exclamation, ¡Su puta madre! (His/Her/Its/You formal bitch mother.) really just means something like: “For f…ks sake!”

However, to make it more personal, you might bring in the big poo guns and mix then with an insult about their mum.

“Me cago en tu puta madre.” Which literally means: “I poo on your bitch mother.”

This this is a very strong insult which can be used in a joking way, but only by those very skilled in its use. It is NOT recommended that you use this unless:

a, You are ready to run away at high speed.

b, You are alone in your bedroom.

c, You are with very good, life long Spanish friends who use that kind of language normally.

 

Please enjoy the podcast and take it all with a pinch of salt. We do.

 

Gordon 🙂

 

 

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Advanced Speaker 27 – Spanish Spanish or Latin American Spanish?

spain scale 27 advSpanish Spanish?

Let me start by saying that this subject is a highly polemic and controversial one. Making a blog and a podcast on this is like throwing a lighted match into a powder keg.

Already, we have a small battle waging in the comments area in Youtube about what we say in the video.  It seems that for every person who has something to say on this issue, there is a different opinion.

History doesn’t help.

Maybe I’m misreading the situation a little, but as far as I can see, there exists a fairly deep seated grudge held by the people of Central and South America against the Spanish which dates back to the Spanish conquest of their continents.

An interesting glimpse into how the Spanish behaved themselves during their overthrow of the indigenous people can be seen in the excellent film, “La lluvia también.”  (Not for a moment am I suggesting that the English or the French, or the Portuguese did a more sensitive job during their brutal campaigns either.)

Of course, the Spanish that committed those atrocities are long gone, yet the negative sentiment toward them still persists and perhaps always will.

Is there much difference between the continents?

The answer to that is yes and no. In essence they all use the same language as a basis for their communication. What differs are the accents, some grammatical features and the most important factor of all and one that truly divides each country, the idiomatic expressions and slang.

I sat with Cynthia one time to watch a film called “Maríia llena de gracia.” a story of a Colombian girl who gets drawn into drug smuggling.  I have to say that I struggled terribly to understand the dialogue and a number of times I had to ask Cynthia for help with what they were saying.

What was surprising to me was that most times she said that she didn’t have a clue!

The reason she struggled, too, was because of the expressions and slang they were using. (When we watch American films with street slang, Cynthia asks me what they are saying and I tell her that I haven’t a clue either! jeje)

The accent.

Of course, above all, the main difference in accent between Spanish Spanish and Latin American Spanish is the use of the CECEO vs the SESEO. (That’s whether you say THERVETHA or SERVESA.)

I initially began learning Spanish in Mexico and liked very much the SESEO sound that they used. The Spanish CECEO seemed brutal and coarse at the time and I wasn’t a great fan of it. Yet, after meeting Cynthia and immersing myself into the Spanish culture I soon adopted their accent and grew to really like the expressive tonality of Spanish Spanish.

It’s sad that so many people can become so obsessed with the correctness of one accent over another and allow it, when taken to the extreme, to create barriers and prejudices between people. When we made this podcast, we really thought that we were being very fair and comprehensive in our approach to the subject. However, there have been some that have criticised what we’ve said, claiming that we are supporters of the Spanish Spanish and that our podcast is pro-mainland Spanish, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Listen in and decide for yourself if the advice we offer is balanced or not.  Have fun!

 

Gordon 🙂

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Advanced Speaker 28 – Present Subjunctive Spanish Language

music scalePresent Subjunctive Spanish.

This podcast is designed to pull together the range of eight videos that I (Gordon) made on the Present Subjunctive Spanish.

Click here to go to the Youtube playlist.

Why so many videos?

The reason I made so many videos (Cynthia thinks that there are too many and that it will stress people out) is that there are numerous parts to the subjunctive. The system I use to help people to learn it is to show them WHEN, not WHY, they should use it.

I didn’t learn it this way. I spent years learning the rules and fighting to try and understand why I was using it. After bombarding Spanish speakers with multiple questions on this tense, I realised that building up a catalogue of rules and reasons was not how they learn to use it. The majority of speakers have no idea why they use the subjunctive. They use it only because that’s what they’ve heard all of their life and IT SOUNDS RIGHT.

The key to learning a language.

This is the real essence of how to really learn a language. Once you have learnt the structural requirements and the mechanics of how the language is bolted together, you then must learn the melody.

It’s like learning the tune and the words to a song. Once you have it in your mind it’s there for life.

Hitting a bum note.

Once you have learnt the melody, you can hear the bum notes when other students are talking. When someone sings the wrong words to your favourite song, or the wrong melody, it jars your sensibilities. The same happens with language.

When someone conjugates the verb incorrectly, or uses the wrong preposition, or pronounces the word incorrectly, it’s like hearing a bum note.

When you know the language this way, you don’t need to run through your list of rules to understand what went wrong, or to check the correctness of what people are saying.

The interesting thing is that you begin to hear your own mistakes. It’s as though a there are different sections in the brain. The speaking and the listening part. Many times, whilst I am talking in Spanish, I hear myself hitting a bum note as though I was an partial observer/listener. It’s a strange experience, but one that you will certainly experience.

The Subjunctive Spanish.

The same thing applies with the subjunctive. If you stick with the system that I suggest, you will reach a point in which you will use it, not because your mind has run through your list of rules and regulations, but just because it sounds right.

How to get there.

I’m not saying for a moment that getting there is easy and requires no work. The videos we have made are your first step in the learning journey. To help you on your way, why not listen to as many people speaking Spanish as you can and identify each time they use the subjunctive.

And THIS IS THE KEY. Once you have identified the use of the subjunctive, go back to the front of the sentence and listen for THE TRIGGER sentence. Ask yourself: “What did they say that created the demand for the Subjunctive Spanish?”

Try this out in this podcast and then in all the others that you listen to. You will see a pattern forming and, although there will be times you won’t know why it’s there, 90% of the time it will make sense to you.

Do this and I guarantee that you will begin to ‘dominar’ the subjunctive Spanish tremendously well.

¡A POR ELLO!

Gordon 🙂

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Advanced Speaker 29 – Spanish Imperfect Subjunctive Conversation

rosescaleThe Spanish Imperfect Subjunctive

Before you watch this podcast-video, we suggest that you watch video 9 and 10 in the range of Subjunctive videos that we have made in which we help you with the structure of this tense.

Scary stuff

The Spanish Imperfect Subjunctive seems to have the ability to strike fear into any serious student of the Spanish language. Why?

The title itself doesn’t help. What does imperfect mean? What about the word ‘subjunctive’? What on earth does that ‘quiere decir’?

The fact is, it really doesn’t matter what the name means. I long since decided that the linguists that chose the names of the tenses, at most, wanted to show off and, at least, completely ignored the fact that normal people were going to have to try and learn all those stupid names.

‘El pluscuamperfecto’ in Spanish or the ‘pluperfect’ in English is a great example of this. Who on earth decided to call it that?

Take that a little farther and put it into the subjunctive tense and you get:

El plusuamperfecto de subjuntivo’

If ever there was something designed to put you off learning a language, then this would be the one.

A rose by any other name

I had a student who, amongst other learning issues, was dyslexic. His dyslexia had led him to have various hang-ups about learning. One of these was when he was faced with the name of a tense. He would start to panic and, according to him, he wasn’t able to hear or imagine the name in his head.

To overcome this issue, he gave all the tenses new names and ones he could relate to.

He called the preterite Betty. The imperfect past was Rose etc., etc.

And the fact was that it really didn’t matter what name they had, as long as he was able to relate the name to the tense, then he was happy.

He would say: “Oh, your talking about Betty.” and I would reply: “Yes.” (I trusted that he knew the difference between Betty and Rose.)

If you know the name, then great, however, it’s far more important for you to know how the tense works and the way the verb is broken down.

The same applies with the Spanish Imperfect Subjunctive. For a start, I would suggest that you change the word ‘Imperfect’ to ‘Past’. Because, in essence, that’s what the Imperfect is referring to. Whatever you do with the present subjunctive in the present, you do with the imperfect subjunctive in the past.

Every trigger in the present triggers the present subjunctive, and those very same triggers in the past, trigger the past or imperfect subjunctive.

Once again, as you listen to this podcast, your job is to identify each time that we use the Spanish Imperfect Subjunctive. More importantly, however, is to listen to what is said beforehand. What do we say that triggers off the need for the subjunctive?

Once you can identify and recognise that, you will have captured the spirit of this tense.

 

Gordon 🙂

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